Well apparently he's into motor boating.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
