STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
