Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
