did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
