do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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