i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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