you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
