I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The power of my boobs compel you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
