you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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