We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
