Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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