I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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