As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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