the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
