I must be too annoying 4 u.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
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