i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize