ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The adults are the big ones right?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
