I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
