Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
