i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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