got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
