Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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