All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
