Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
