I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
