we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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