I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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