Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
