Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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