My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
