Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
