Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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