trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
