you're like a bully in the Christmas story
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize