So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
