Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
