Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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