the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
