i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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