Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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