Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize