On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize