i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
