Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We had sex on a dog bed..
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
