Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
