just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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