don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
