I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
