Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
zippers are such a cool invention
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize