So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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