All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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