Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
