I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
