doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
