I hope mine doesn't look like that
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
