Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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