Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
