Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
