It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
