But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
