he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
