When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize