Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
