Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
