Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
