She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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