I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
