What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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