I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
