She's JV to your varsity
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
