The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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