Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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