I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
