I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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