So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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