Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
