Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
