Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
