i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Randomize
