It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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